I Am A Master And You! (also known as by it's stage name, Now Wait a Minute! Who Is That!? or sound test name, Chop Chop Forever!) is the first song you perform in Um Jammer Lammy'.
The scene starts off with a cutscene of Lammy running down a hallway, trying to come up with an excuse for being late for the concert. As she goes through the stage door, she makes it on time just to see Chop Chop Master Onion being announced as the new vocalist for MilkCan.
After the song is over, however, Lammy suddenly realizes that she has been playing a vacuum cleaner this whole time, much to her embarrassment. Chop Chop Master Onion then tells Lammy that his dojo was destroyed one time, but it remains in his mind - with even a casino. He then says his line “Dojo, casino, it’s all in the mind.”
Lammy opens the door.
Lammy: Wh-what should I tell them? I have a stomachache so I went to the b-bathroom... but there was a l-long line at the gas station... I-I-I told them it was an emergency... b-b-but they said...
Chop Chop Master Onion, Instructor Mooselini, Prince Fleaswallow, and Cheep Cheep the Cooking Chicken: LET'S RAP FOR IT!
The crowd begins cheering.
Lammy: Good... I made it-
Lammy trips down onto the floor.
Lammy: Hmmm, who's that?
The curtains open.
Katy Kat: AND HERE'S OUR NEW VOCALIST, CHOP CHOP MASTER ONION!
The spotlight faces Chop Chop Master Onion, as the crowd cheers again.
Lammy: Now wait a minute! Who is that?!
Katy Kat: Lammy! Here! (throws the guitar to Lammy)
The crowd leaves.
Lammy: Wa-wa-wait! Everybody wait! Oh, what should I do?
Chop Chop Master Onion: What are you afraid of?
Lammy: Well, look at my guitar!
Lammy shows that her guitar is just a vacuum cleaner.
Chop Chop Master Onion: Guitar? Listen. I lost my Dojo. But, the Dojo remains IN MY MIND. It even has a casino! Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind. You have nothing to lose.
Kick! Punch! You all remember!
Chop chop back again, yes forever!
You have many challenges comin' at ya!
First is a fire! Don't retire, now!
And Down! (Again now!)
Listen to me now as I do my chore!
Nobody ever talks to me no more!
But if a baby were to come, crying out loud,
Do you think you can play and calm it down?
Or if you're on a plane, how would you play?
Throttle up and down, or away?
I just wanna know, can you really go,
With that guitar in hand? I don't know!
Comin at ya!
And Fly! Down!
Shake it to the right! Shake it to the left!
I be the only masta that will give
all the necessary skills to build a guitar,
so you can play in an island, you come far! (EU/JP version: so you can play in hell, you come far!)
Chop, that wood!
Choke, real good!
Pick, Chop, Burn!
Cry, Fly, Choke!
Burn, Cry, Slide!
Chop, Pick, Fly!
Choke, Fly, Pick!
Cry, Chop, Down! (Ha Ha!)
Pick, Burn, Cry!
Cry, Fly, Chop!
Pick Burn'n Cry!
Fly Chop Choke!
Pick Burnin' Cry Fly, Chop Choke!
I am a Masta, and You?
End of level responses
Chop Chop Master Onion: Ha, Lammy, look what you're holding in your hand.
Lammy: I don't know. What is it?
Chop Chop Master Onion: Lammy, I'm so proud of you. If it was a guitar you're holding.
Lammy: Huh? What do you mean?
Chop Chop Master Onion: Again.
Lammy: Wh-wh-what a nightmare!
Chop Chop Master Onion: Ha, look what you're holding in your hand.
PaRappa: *sigh* Teacher, what is this?
Chop Chop Master Onion: PaRappa, I'm so proud of you. Congratulations.
PaRappa: Yeah! By the way, how have you been, teacher?
Chop Chop Master Onion: Again.
PaRappa: What a nightmare!
In level responses
Entering Cool: Acha? If I'm not a star, it's no fun for me. ATCHOO! HATA! HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Losing Cool: Hey hey hey! You're bad! I'm the star, after all.
Chop Chop says "Acha? If I'm not a star, it's no fun for me." and proceeds to ricochet off the walls, like he did in PaRappa 1. Katy floats away and Ma-san's drum set grows wings and flies away. Chop Chop watches Lammy play in the background.
In Bad mode, the whole stage (excluding Lammy and Parappa) becomes distorted and wavy, and the music starts to echo a bit.
In Awful mode, all the echoing gets much worse, and the stage becomes more wavy.
- Although in-game Parappa doesn't have the option to play this stage, he does rap it in the soundtrack. The lyrics and music are exactly the same, but the response at the end of the level is changed from "Ha, Lammy" to "Ha". It is commonly rumored among fans that Parappa was going to be holding a feather duster that embarrasses him, like Lammy's vacuum cleaner, though this cannot further be proven true due to the scarce footage of the arcade version, UmJammer Lammy NOW!.
- However, you can access this stage as PaRappa in UmJammer Lammy NOW! or in the PS1 version with the use of cheat codes.
- In the cutscene, the "LET'S RAP FOR IT." scene shows Chop Chop with his original appearance. However, in the actual game, Chop Chop has a stem and his clothes have patches, though this is because it's a flashback. This flashback is notably Instructor Mooselini and Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's final appearances in a game, whilst making cameos later in PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale.
- The last two lines have the same tune to "Shave and a haircut, two bits."
- Chop Chop appears to be growing his stem during the cutscene.
- Chop Chop's failure quote is the same from PaRappa the Rapper, he even does the same pose when he says it.
- In this stage, references are made to the following levels:
- The line "First is a fire! Don't retire, now!" references to Stage 2.
- The line "But if a baby were to come, crying out loud, do you think you can play and calm it down?" references to Stage 3.
- The line "Or if you're on a plane, how would you play? Throttle up and down, or away?" references to Stage 4.
- The line "I be the only masta that will give all the necessary skills to build a guitar" references Stage 5.
- The line "So you can play in hell, you come far!" references Stage 6.
- In the American release, this line is "So you can play in an island, you come far!"